Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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