I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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