my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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