I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
wow bdsm is so cute
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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