I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
