oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
