Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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