Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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