you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
