don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
