If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
