so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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