i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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