Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
