Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
