FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
