I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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