there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
