they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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