Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
