I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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