I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
