Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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