he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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