do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
