dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
