No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
