It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
