I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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