Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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