I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
