He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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