awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize