Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
