and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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