i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
