I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
