I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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