I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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