yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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