We need to rekindle our bromance
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
