Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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