They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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