So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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