Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
