He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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