I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
