Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
