But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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