I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
