How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
