Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
