Dual....:-)
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
